Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I'm Voting For Dorfus Featherbutt

Though my body will turn 49 next week, apparently my brain is 12, if that.

My new name: Goober Chickenboob. My son's? Doofus Rhinohiney. I can't stop laughing.

What's your new name*?

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

A = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

A = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barfy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = dippin
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3 . Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Using this formula, the lying, arrogant maroon in the White House (Me? Bitter?) is Fluffy Chucklefanny. John McCain is Farcus Battyface. And Barack Obama's new name is Dorfus Featherbutt. Where's my bumper sticker?

*From Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants by Dav Pilkey


Cookie said...

Tootsie Farkletush.

Yet another reason to get married. Wait...

Then I'd be Tootsie ChickenFanny. Just one step over from ChickenButt, isn't it.


Cindy/Snid said...

Why is this so irresistible??!

-Sloopy DippinHonker

~Donna~ said...

I'm Sloopy Battyshorts and honey is Dorfus Dippindoodle. hahahahaha Viva the 12 yr old brain!

jessie said...

Snooty Dippinhiney. My daughther, Snickele Dippenhiney, almost pees her pants whenever we do this.

Mrs.Q said...

Dorky Dippintush.

That's kind of rude. I like it!

Nell said...

Boobie Chickendoodle. HI-Larious!

Celia said...

John McCain must be my long lost cousin. I am Boobie Battyface, of the Berkeley Battyfaces.

AlisonH said...

Maiden name or married? Dorky Gorillanose or Dorky Chickenbiscuits, take your pick. Hilary and Bill would both be Boobie DippinLips. Ouch. (Heh.)

Lisa said...

Snooty Pottysquirt... Well that is just obscene! Not even close to being cute or funny!

Tiny Tyrant said...

You are NOT 48!!!!

I have met you. I have seen you. You are NOT 48.

Because if you're 48, I look way older than I am and you look way younger than I am.

Sloopy Farkledunkin

Teenuh said...

I'm Dorfus Battyface. If I use Tina though and my maiden name, I'd be Sloopy Chucklebiscuits. Clearly I shouldn't have changed my name!

Chris said...

Dorfus Pottydoodle.

Apparently a lot of us "adults" have 12 year old brains, cause I got more than a little bit of giggle out of that. Thanks for a good day starter.

Raveller said...

Allow me to introduce myself - Boobie Rhinonose... what a hoot! Come to think of it, I should have taken my husband's last name - Chuckledoodle sounds so much better than Rhinonose, doesn't it?

Barbara from Nova Scotia said...

Dorfus Battyhead. Pleased to meet you.

Toni said...

Sloopy Chucklesniffer, which doesn't sound so great until I discovered I married Cheesey Pottybutt.

Oh dear--in the interests of domestic harmony, I don't think I'll be using that as a new pet name....

Toni said...

And happy early birthday!!!!!!!!!

--Sloopy Chucklesniffer

TheAmpuT said...

Me? Sloopy DippinFanny.
My boyfriend? Crust DippinSniffer.
My Kid? Goober FarkleTush.

want me to keep going? I could do my whole family....hahaha

Maia said...

Dorky Farklefanny married to Dumbo Pottynose (I decided to keep Farklefanny when I got married)!

Marla said...

Thank you for a laugh out loud, pant wetting, sideplitter.
Ms. Dorfus Dippindoodle
Mr. Dipsy Dippindoodle
and our sons,
Sneezy and Farkus